Trying to avoid the eye twitch

I hope I don't bore you with this post.  I am at a critical point though, and although I don't air much personal stuff out here, I feel I need too.  Life is super busy, good busy and crazy busy.  I am trying to find a balance between running a business and taking care of a family, and there are plenty of days when I feel like I am failing in one department and can't please everyone.  Bigger than that, I have struggled for eons with getting organized.  I am actually amazed at how much I can accomplish in my crazed ADD world, but it is usually at the expense of those around me.  My husband especially.
 I know I drive him bonkers with my piles, lists and lack of systems (not to mention freshly painted everything thanks to all my blog projects.) More on this later.

Something feels like it has to give.  So lets get real crazy...

Over the weekend we entertained the idea of moving. down the street. again. 
1 Realtor + 1 Designer =  2 Nut Cases
(It would be the 3rd move within the 400 meter red circle. We are SICK, I know.)
We actually lobbed an offer in last week on a cute house with lots of potential.  We had to decide by today if we were going to step up and play "highest and best".

  I know I said I am NOT moving again. As much as I don't want to upheave and experience the stress/ eye twitch of moving with kids like the last 3 times, there was something cathartic about starting fresh (and as my husband promised: NEW kitchen and baths. Ones I don't have to renovate with just paint.)

The new house would be a gut job. It needs everything, so it would be truly a clean slate.  
We could make it our own.
 Also, it would be a slight financial savings as well.  
My husband is all about the numbers, I am all about the paint and tile.
And it would give me plenty to blog about.

 But this brings us back to my first sentence.  
Life is super busy (I mean really busy- where I am starting to feel a bit like my tank is on E). 
Can we actually pull off a move/ remodel with both of us running our own businesses, 2 kids that I already feel like I am neglecting, and having to get the current house toned down (goodbye squiggle walls) and staged to sell all in a matter of months?  
Probably. We both do best under pressure.  But really.  Can we?

After 2 days of pros and cons, reno budgets and number crunching we decided to stay put. For now.
We are going to give "El Rancho" another shot at greatness.  But we both realize there is going to be a lot of compromising.  Moving for the sake of a clean organized slate or a new shower is just an illusion, a distraction from other stresses.
We could do that here.  Throw shit out. Renovate a bathroom.

 I realize a lot of my stress is from my disorganization and time management.  My work world has been much better since I moved into my new office upstairs.  The funny thing is there is still 75% of it downstairs in my old space.  I realize most of it is unnecessary crap I don't use, so yes I can get rid of things.  I need to now figure out how to do that with every other room in my house.  I need to actually figure out how to make those room work better, not just look pretty.  Less is more.

So, now for the hard part. Doing it.
I just want to know from anyone out there that is or has been in a similar situation- what is your advice? How do you run a business, take care of kids a husband and a house and take care of yourself? Especially when what I really want to do is take a nap.

Thanks for letting me vent.
Back to more pretty stuff that makes my brain tingle -in a good way, not a stroking out way-tomorrow.



Emily said...

I don't have an answer, but I think it sounds like you made the right choice, and I wish you the best of luck!

Anna@Directions Not Included said...

With everything going on, I think it was the right choice to stick in your current place. You can still have a bunch of fun where you are.
I don't juggle kids but I have my plate full most days. The only thing that works for me (and not even that well) is keeping myself on a schedule and keeping the house as neat as possible. Most days it doesn't work but the days it does, it feels more like my life is in order.

Susan and Mark said...

My advice? Hire help. Get an organizer to go through your stuff with you-it will be done on a timetable and you WILL do it because you have to pay for it! LOL

Hire household work help-the kind that's brainless, like laundry or once a week cleaning.

My kids are twins ( grown now) and I worked in education, took care of the house, got divorced and went back to college-whew.I worked out every night at seven for an hour-MY time. You have to have priorities and lists and a system. Or two. :)

You can have it all, you just can't have it all at once!

My Crafty Home-Life said...

From someone who has moved several times, always a surprise...transfer; get the house ready for sale anyway. De-clutter, fix the "problems", etc.. that way, it is one less thing to have on your mind. It was always a shame to beautify my home for the next people.

KKRT said...

I pack up like I'm moving... One room at a time every spring. Seriously. I empty all my closets, cupboards etc... clean them within an inch of their lives and then move back in. I usually live out of boxes for a week or so... It feels so good to get rid of what you don't need and it has that I just moved into this place optimism feel where this time I'm going to be organized. Also, anything even slightly broken goes in the garbage. But, saying this... I am a ADHD hot mess... So this is totally necessary to ensure my husband doesn't leave me for a cardboard cutout of Heidi klum!

Bri@Meyouandawiener said...

We are in that situation right now. Renovating a house is hard when you both work full time. It takes time and a lot of patience. Of course some things have to be sacrificed, for me it was gaming and less blogging. Our social life is pretty much extinct as well. But all those sacrifices have paid off, we are almost done. Do just hang in there Danika. If anything make a list and cross it off as you go. It helps a bit.

JeanMarie said...

Be ruthless when sorting. Discard everything you are keeping because someday you or someone else may want or need it. You will not be able to find it if that time ever comes and "they" don't want it. This includes your children regardless of their age now or then. Discard all magazines, catalogs and clippings! It is all easily found instantly on the web and you will never remember which stack it is in. Box and date toys, clothes etc that you are not using and set into garage, after two weeks donate. There s something carthtic about this gradual separation. You will look at those boxes after a few days and know that is no longer your stuff. Out of sight out of mind really is true.

Five years ago our home burned and with it everything but the pj's We were wearing. For that moment it was a tradegy but in the end quite liberating. We now have a much lovelier new home and my goal each day is to never allow unused things to accumulate. If you purchase something new discard the predesessor . "have nothing that is not beautiful or useful". Gotta go, have two bags to deliver to Goodwill.

lemondropdreams said...

You're talking my language! I'm definitely going to keep my eye on your comments for an answer...I don't own my business but am working on a design degree and have taken on a few projects. It is NOT easy to juggle it all. I think you have to have a system in place, which I for sure lack, and find out what works for you...I absolutely feel like my older two got more of my attention while my younger two are being raised by the boob tube! Good luck and PLEASE fill us in on having the perfect balance...when or if you find it!!

Heidi said...

I hear you! I just wrote a post the other day about the messiness that is my purse situation (and that is only the TIP of the iceberg). The stress of gutting an entire house and building a new one back up, planning a wedding, and running a new business got to me and I realized a big part of the problem are the clutter areas in my life, be it my purses, car, office, mail situation, etc. I decided to devote the month of February to reclaiming and organizing myself so I can enjoy all the great things going on in my life right now.

Here's the link to my post.
It's about cleaning out my purses, but I've been applying the process to much larger problems and it's been working. And I've been feeling better and better with each new area I tackle. Make a list of small attainable goals, complete them, and cross them off the list. You'll feel great and have more time to focus on the important stuff! Hope this helps Danika! And yay to renos! So worth it when they're done!

Live Inspired,

Christina said...

This is going to sound kind of silly, but have you tried FlyLady?

You'll find the site is all about less is more and housekeeping stuff, but at the heart it is about time management and breaking down impossible jobs into small everyday 5 min tasks. I don't shine my sink every night or wear lace up shoes (ugh), but I find her system helps me keep my life together.

The 5 min missions are pure win.

Aimee said...

Honestly? I say DON'T MOVE. I wish someone would have said that to me (they probably did, I just didn't listen!) We bought a house that was a gut renovation when our boys were 2 and 4, both working full time, and I was also getting my masters. People see our house now, 3+ years later and about 60% completed, and ask, "see, wasn't it worth it?" and I think, "NO!!!" Is it possible for you to pile on? Sure. But while the outside may look OK, you risk eroding your sanity, your marriage, and your kids' well-being, like I did. Sorry to be a Debbie Downer!!! ;-)

Sarah said...

Danika, I never post and love your blog! I drop in a couple times a week. I've thought of writing but always lame out...till now!
So I'm a decorator in Portsmouth (just north of you.) I find it's incredibly hard to strike the "balance." Honestly I've come to the conclusion that there is no balance, some days you win some days you loose. I don't work full time....I can't if I want to be a Mom to my little guy (exact same paths of destruction as your younger one) and not be a raging b...tch.
I LOVE your sense of humor and your ADD, it's like a look in the mirror and please know that while you're wallowing in the hell of this you do lighten things up for others. That is by no means a reason to keep blogging but you do spread smiles.
Anyway here's your words of encouragement: You are amazing. I have lived in our new house for 1.5 yrs and barely done a thing....60's fleshy bathrooms and all. I just can't but in the meanwhile you do and redo. Seriously I don't know where you get the energy cause my 3 1/2 yr old sucks the life blood out of me! Keep the faith it will come together but remember this Less is more and allow information to just pass through you, you'll absorb what you need to!
Remember you're a rocks star!

Rosa @ FlutterFlutter said...

I have become "that person". The one that forgets her son's speech therapy appointment until she's standing in line at the grocery store, when it's already too late. Too focused on the client meeting this morning to remember much else. So, I'm the wrong person to ask how I balance it. lol. Good luck!! Let me know if you find any workable tips! Apparently I need them. :)

Heather Peterson said...

Funny, I'm reading this right because I am procrastinating tomorrow's post. And because the thing that had to give this week was reading blogs (though I miss my peeps terribly when I take some time away.) On thing I have tried to do to keep sane is let go of the perfection. Just be good enough. I honestly think you can be "good enough" at everything, but you can only be "great" if you are more focused on one thing. You want to have it all (you are totally doing it all), so be okay with good enough. And even BARELY good enough.

Plus, it passes.

I hope you have some luck putting systems in place--systems that work for YOU, even if they seem cockamamie to others. Some kind of a framework helps things from going completely off the rails.

And know that there are lots of people who totally, totally get it.



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